'Coffee and Sarcasm' Series: Character Descriptions
Character Descriptions #1: ‘I see a little silhouetto of a man’:
You’ve probably noticed the slightly disproportionate silhouettes on my wall. Those are my lead characters, New York Homicide Detectives Desmond Fine (on the right) and Frank Costa (on your other right). To help you see the guys the way I do, I feel it is only fair to tell you a little about them.
Desmond Fine: Personable, dapper, very intense with thick black hair that can be unruly at times. He is in his mid-30s, about six feet tall and has an athletic build. He is a film nerd and will use movie references from time to time. He is a dedicated cop and takes every unsolved crime personally, sometimes feeling that every murder he is unable to prevent is his fault.
Frank Costa: Six foot eight and scraping the 300 pound mark; most of which is muscle. Think of a grizzly bear in an off-the-rack suit and that’s Costa. He is around the same age as Fine; his voice is very deep and harsh, his dark brown eyes piercing. He has a consistently sour expression and has a tendency to speak in grunts and grumbles. Despite his outward appearance, Frank is a very sensitive and caring individual who enjoys and uses his volatile image. He is also a Mets fan, which contributes to his generally irritated mood.
Both men are extremely intelligent, insightful, and solve crimes by thinking outside the box. Des’ and Frank’s sharp minds are only matched by their perpetually sarcastic natures, the two forever tossing jibes at each other in order to cast light into the darkness of their job. They are not only partners, but the best of friends. It is their relationship that guides these stories.
Character Descriptions #2: ‘Wheels’:
New York Homicide Captain James Taylor. He is tough and by the book, but not enough to ignore Fine and Costa’s superlative deductive skills. Taylor is very patient with Fine and Costa, but when they use methods that do not adhere to police procedures, apoplectic fits tend to occur because he has to explain the inevitable fallout to his superiors.
An ex-Marine, Taylor has a squarish head, his hair styled in a military buzz cut with graying temples. He also has a uni-brow and appears to get a 5 o’clock shadow by 9 in the morning. Like Costa, he is broad shouldered and muscled, but unlike his detective, the captain is – on record and written in pencil – five foot six. Because of his diminutive stature, Costa gave the captain the nickname ‘Wheels’.
Years earlier, Taylor made the mistake of asking Frank to advise the staff that he would be late coming to work one morning. Costa sent out an email (blind copying other officers he knew in different precincts) that ‘Captain Taylor will be late this morning. His Big Wheel got a flat and AAA was on route with a replacement plastic tire.’
No one (with the exception of Costa) dares refer to Taylor by this sobriquet to his face or within earshot. Anyone who does would do so from another part of the office; usually in a different building. Doing so would be the equivalent of kicking a Honey Badger.
Character Descriptions #3: When Nerds Go Bad:
Forensic computer technician Ritchie Washington considers himself to be ‘uber’. This is because the young man can hack into any highly secure database to obtain information on cases he’s working on, and/or manipulate files and websites in order to gain access. Ritchie is also a geek to the infinite level. His office is filled with computers, laptops and tablets, and is decorated with knickknacks from almost every sci-fi/fantasy book, film or television show ever conceived. Much to the dismay of Fine and Costa, the door to Washington’s office opens with the shhhh-shhhh sound effect from Star Trek. He has a full-size Doctor Who TARDIS standing in the corner of his office, his computer setup has flashing lights, numerous movie posters cover the walls next to varying lightsabers, as well as other film memorabilia displayed in different parts of the room.
Despite the fact that Ritchie is thin, pale, wears glasses and vibrates like he’s had too much caffeine, he considers himself a ladies man. In contrast to his nerdy demeanor, Washington is a constant viewer of pornography. There have been times when his ‘hobbies’ merge and the detectives find the computer tech wearing lederhosen and his seven inflatable women (each showing a day of the week stenciled on their foreheads) falling through the TARDIS door.
As much as the detectives praise and value Washington’s expertise, his sanity and perverse nature always comes into question.
Character Descriptions #4: The Devil in the Details:
Tommy Edwards is not only the team’s forensic expert, but doubles as their chief medical examiner. He is of average height, shy and slightly overweight. Though his detailing of crime scenes can be impassionate and somewhat cold, Tommy feels his job is to speak for the dead and bring the perpetrator to justice. It is this passion that forces him to process the scene to its fullest, sometimes finding the most insignificant piece of physical evidence that could link cases that do not seem to connect. His findings are an integral part of the detective’s investigation.
But no matter how worldly Tommy is in regards to death and methods of killing, there is an innocence about him that shines through and puts him at odds with Ritchie Washington’s ribald sense of humor.
Character Descriptions #5: The Idle Hands:
Detectives Marx, Wallace and Emerson. Three seasoned vets of the police force who have realized that the less they do, the less danger they’ll be in. The men are almost identical, all being portly and somewhat slovenly in appearance. The three men are the bane of Captain James ‘Wheels’ Taylor who hardly ever finds them at their desks. When they do make an appearance, there is always a box (or boxes) of donuts within reach or just leaving to check out an altercation at a fast food establishment.
Even though the general consensus is that they contribute little and are looked upon as lazy, Wallace, Marx and Emerson are stand-up guys and will drop whatever they are (or not) doing to help Fine and Costa with their cases.
Under duress.
And if they can be found.
